| By Rod Thorell |
While there seems to be a strong trend toward healthier eating, at the same time restaurants are adding more bacon to pretty much everything.
Don’t get me wrong, bacon on a donut is wonderful, but did we really need that as a thing?
Bacon aside, sometimes it isn’t what you eat, but how much you eat that gets you in trouble. So I have devised this simple quiz to see if you might be an overeater.
Add up your scores and share your shame in the comments!
- Eaten a fritter or coffee roll intended for more than one person. +1
- Eaten all the donut holes before they made it home to the kids. +3
- Eaten an entire box of Kraft macaroni and cheese alone. +1
- Eaten an entire box of Kraft macaroni and cheese from the pan with a serving spoon, while standing over the stove. +3
- Eaten an entire sleeve of Girl Scout cookies in one sitting. +1
- Eaten an entire box of Girl Scout cookies in one sitting. +3
- Signed up to get a text message from Brusters that they just made your favorite flavor. +1
- Gotten a phone call from Donut King that they just made your favorite flavor. +3
- Finished something because you didn’t want to leave that little bit as a leftover. +1
- Finished another adult’s meal at a restaurant. +3
- Stopped at a drive thru on the way home from a meal. +5
- Stopped eating at an all you can eat buffet, not because you were full, but because the person you were with was bored. +1
- Stopped eating at an all you can eat buffet, not because you were full, but because the owner shut you off. +3
- Dug frantically through the change bucket because you heard the ice cream man. +1
- Asked the ice cream man if he takes credit cards. +3
- Taken a sliver of each kind of pie at Thanksgiving because you want to try them all. +1
- Taken a full-size piece of each kind of pie at Thanksgiving because YOLO. +3
- Had to say “Wait, my wife hasn’t ordered yet!” at a fast food cashier. +1
0-5: No, you are not an overeater, you are bored. Read the rest of Clermontmagazine.com and then go to bed.
6-20: You may have a problem overeating on occasions. Like Christmas, Birthdays, Diwali, Feast of Fools and weekdays that end in ‘Y’.
21-30: You overeat more often than not. You might notice the nervous glances when you show up for family cookouts. You are on a first name basis with the lady that cooks sample recipes at Publix.
31-35: Yes, clearly you are an overeater. Golden Corral probably has your picture beside the hostess stand as a warning.
35-38: You probably took this quiz with one hand while you ate a bowl of cereal. Your computer keyboard is fouled by muffin crumbs and fried chicken grease.
Grumpydad (Rod Thorell) and the love of his life, Donna, relocated to Clermont in 2015, where he works from home helping create software. You can follow his misadventures on Instagram, @grumpydad_goes_to.